


Why does my face feel this hot?

by assasinduckie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blushing Kageyama Tobio, Confused Kageyama Tobio, Gay Kageyama Tobio, Happy Ending, M/M, Sawamura Daichi is Dad, Trans Hinata Shouyou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27749065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assasinduckie/pseuds/assasinduckie
Summary: Kageyama notices something about Hinata and can't stop thinking about it. Or maybe he just can't stop thinking about him in general.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 183





	Why does my face feel this hot?

**Author's Note:**

> I just found out trans Hinata is kind of a thing and wanted to write my own version of it.  
> Disclaimer: there is mention of transphobia.

Kageyama hadn’t noticed it during the first months, or if he had, he had given no importance to it, as he usually did anything outside the court, but for much Hinata loved their locker room, he never seemed to be in it. Or more like he never needed it, because he was always either already dressed for practice or he left without changing. It was after maybe the fourth time Kageyama turned around to mention something about practice to him to realise Hinata was nowhere to be found that he worked out he had never even seen him change in the locker room at all. Or anywhere really. But then again, no one else seemed to have noticed or cared, and he just assumed Hinata was ashamed of his smol body or something stupid like that and again, he honestly didn’t care.

But after that realisation, he started to notice other things. It was like his brain was suddenly paying attention (a new thing it did, he wasn't sure it was a feature he wanted to mantain). And that made him notice that Hinata never took his shirt off -even if they were practicing outside and the sun was making him sweat profusely- or that he always declined going to the beach or the river, or that he didn’t even use his t-shirt to wipe away his sweat like everyone else did. Maybe he was shy or something? Or really private? That didn’t really sound like Hinata but the effort of thinking about it was making Kageyama frown extra hard which was giving him a headache, so it was best to stop. It probably was nothing and if it was something then it was none of his business.

Then this one time he was trying to beat Hinata at showering faster than him at a concentration and he noticed scarring in Hinata’s chest and he was thoroughly confused because Hinata had never mentioned anything about having had an accident or some operation and he had told him about _every_ single trip to the hospital he had had to try to prove his endurance and that it was ok for him to receive the ball with his face. He had also shared with him every memory from his childhood to the day they met, even though Kageyama had asked him to stop. Several times. So clearly it was something he had decided not to tell.

Should he ask? For some reason he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He felt like the best option was to just ask him. He had already spent way too much time thinking about this, it was interfering with his concentration at practice. So, he decided to do it. He even started the question a couple times:

“Oy, Hinata…” but he always froze when Hinata turned around to look at him. It felt wrong, like he was prying to much. If Hinata had wanted him to know, he would know by now. So he decided once again to just forget about it. And this time he managed to do it. For several months he just put it in the back burner and went on with his life.

Training was a hell of a lot easier when he wasn’t **thinking** , and to his surprise it kind of resolved itself. Towards the end of the year (?), the closer they were to the spring tournament, Hinata started to sometimes change in the locker room with them. Usually very quickly, his back turned on them, or when there weren’t too much people. But it made Kageyama confirm he was obsessing over nothing. He also noticed (he was noticing too many thing lately, he had to stop this new habit, it was bad for his focus) Daichi always seemed to be near when Hinata was changing, and he would stand right on front of him, his broader back almost completely covering Hinata's small frame. He even caught some shared looks. He had no idea what was going on, but it seemed like Daichi was taking care of it.

But then again, for some reason, he couldn’t get Hinata out of his head. After the fight it had gotten worse. He had thought it was a newly found curiosity, trying to solve the mystery of the scars thing but maybe it wasn’t because he would catch himself in class just thinking about Hinata’s face, smiling at him. And his face was nowhere near his chest so what was going on? He didn’t get it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why do you keep frowning at me? Do you wanna fight?” was what Hinata asked him while hiding behind Daichi in the locker rooms. Kageyama hadn’t even noticed he was looking at him. He growled and turned around and realised his face was getting hot. What on earth was going on?

“The king just can’t get enough of chibi-chan’s cute face” said Tsukishima smirking and now Kageyama’s face was boiling and he was debating himself between fighting Tsukishima or leaving when he heard a ruckus and Daichi was grabbing Hinata by the arms while Tsukishima made an angry grimace.

“Don’t call him that stupid stupidshima!!!” Hinata was shouting, his face as red as his hair.

“Why must you be so mean Tsukishima!” said Sugawara in his usual friendly demeanour, diffusing the situation.

“ Yeah, you always picking up a fight” said Noya angrily and that was the end of it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You don’t have to defend me; I can do it on my own.” he told Hinata angrily while they were walking home. He was still upset. For some reason, that fight -that happened at least twice a week-, had gotten him on his nerves.

“waaa, why can’t you just say thank you like normal people? This is why you don’t have friends!” was Hinata’s response, accompanied with a heavy sigh. It was supposed to make him angry and it did, but it also calmed him, they had had some iteration of this interaction so many times already, it was almost ritualistic.

“itch, I have friends.” He said after deciding not to answer with his fists.

“eh? How? You don’t even talk with the people in your class and everyone from junior high school hates you…”

“Shut up! I have friends. Noya is my friend. Tanaka too.”

“pff, people from volleyball club don’t count!”

“Of course they do!” he was getting on his nerves again, where was he going with this? So annoying.

“Eh? Really? Then are we friends then?” and he turned around to look at him with that intense stare he sometimes got, the one that scared some people.

Shit. Kageyama’s heart had skipped a beat and now it was going on a wild sprint. His face was getting hot too. What was happening to him? Had he catch a cold mid spring?

Hinata was looking at him waiting for a response. Shit. The best thing to do was to deflect, it was a stupid question after all. But before he could dismiss it his mouth went:

“Tsh. Of course we’re friends, what are you talking about?” and Hinata was smiling again and looking away thank god.

“AAAahh, I wasn’t sure. You’re so court it’s hard to tell. But even if you said you’re not my friend, I know I’m yours” he added, sticking his tong at him. Wich made Kageyama feel _weirder_. He was going to check his temperature as soon as he got home, he probably had a fever or something.

They walked in silence while Kageyama thought about if he was going to have to skip practice if he was indeed sick or if he could just get some medication and miss school only when Hinata spoke again.

“You know, friends can tell each other secrets. I have one.” There wasn’t a question anywhere in that sentence and Kageyama had no idea what to answer. He looked at Hinata with a confused expression. “I noticed you’ve been watching me when I change. Did you see them? The scars?”

Well fuck. Had he been so fucking obvious? _You don’t have to tell me_ was what he was about to say but Hinata spoke first.

“Have you figured out what they are from?” He was looking down at his feat while they walked now. They reached the corner where each one went their way and stopped walking. 

“It was none of my business” said Kageyama looking away too. Why was he so hot and why was his heart reacting so intensely to this?

“So, you don’t know.” Again, it wasn’t a question but this time Kageyama responded anyways:

“No. Hinata, you don’t have to-“

“I want to tell you. I don’t like having secrets and it’s nothing I’m ashamed about. My mum just asked me to be careful about it because she was afraid people would react badly and... attack me or something.”

What? Kageyama was even more confused. What was he talking about? Why would people attack him for having scars? Hinata was no longer looking at the ground, but still not looking at him.

“I had the surgery when I was 11, before starting junior high. I changed schools and nobody there knew. It was so easy... I almost forgot that it wasn't like that at first. Because at school all my friends called me Shouyo without thinking about it and never thought it was weird that I didn’t want to go swimming with them at the pool like the kids in primary school… they were always asking me to show them my…” He was frowning now, anger written all over his face. “They were really annoying.”

Kageyama’s mind was going a hundred miles an hour and he felt like there was smoke coming out of his head, but he still couldn’t connect the dots between the things Hinata was telling him.

“I don’t unders-“then, Hinata finally looked up, and locked their eyes. It was like time had frozen. His look was so intense that Kageyama felt he couldn’t move; it was too dangerous.

“You still don’t get it?” he then took a deep breath and let out quickly: “When I was born, they thought I was a girl. They were wrong.” And then he turned around and left, leaving an open mouthed Kageyama that only managed to mutter:

“huh?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Google was of much assistance that night, although first when Kageyama searched “Boy born girl scars in chest” he found many stories about a baby born with her heart out of her chest. But then he found a book that talked about something that made more sense with what Hinata had said.

But he was still feeling incredibly confused, so he ended up texting Daichi. Well he tried just texting but after he sent a message saying he had talked to Hinata and was starting to type another one about what Hinata had said, Daichi just called him.

“Hi! Kageyama. I was expecting you to call, I told Hinata he should talk with his best friend about these things” Ahá! So people for volleyball club could count as friends! “and he said he would tell you but that you might need some guidance.” Normally he would have felt somewhat offended, but he was so lost right now he didn’t care.

“I… I don’t understand. He said he was born a girl. And that he had a surgery? A surgery to do what?”

“Yes. He had a top surgery. Hinata’s transgender” there was gravity in Daichi’s words like they **meant** something.

“ah… and what is that?” if only he knew _what_ they meant.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The talk was very long and **very** informative, and it left Kageyama with one train of thought:

Why was this such a big deal? Why did Hinata’s mom feared he would get attacked? Did trans people get attacked for being trans? He should have asked Daichi more questions, but he was getting called for dinner. The next google search was much more informative and also gruesome and it made him feel scared.

For the first time in his life he felt guilty about living in his volleyball bubble and having no idea about all of this. Clearly other people did. Tsukishima would have probably only needed one look at those scars to understand what was happening. Shit, maybe he already knew. Would he have said nothing? Who knew, the guy was incomprehensible.

Then he started to think back at the thing Hinata had said the boys from his old school would do… and now that he understood, it was so much scary. He had understood that they were mean with him, but this was something else. He spent the rest of the night rethinking everything Hinata and Daichi had said and googling some more whenever a new question popped up. And there were tons of them.

The next day he had eye circles so bad his older sister suggested maybe he was sick and should stay home. But Kageyama was adamant he wasn’t skipping which left the young woman very confused, since he never passed on the opportunity of skipping class. He had been so weird at dinner too… he had been so lost in his thoughts that she found him chewing his chopsticks where a piece of meat used to be.

But Kageyama got to school and then at lunch he finally ran into Hinata and his mind went blank and he just said hi with a nod, and then they raced each other to practice and Kageyama was so relieved everything was back to normal.

Apparently, so was Hinata, since it was the first thing that came out of his mouth when they separated the big group after some pork buns and started walking home.

“aaaaaaaaah, I’m so relieved you’re not being weird or stupid about this”. Kageyama didn’t know what to answer to this so he just nodded. “I was so surprised when Tsukishima was nice about it too!”

“Ehh? What? Did you tell stupidshima before me?” What the hell Hinata, wasn’t **he** his best friend??

“Pff, no! He noticed on his own. Daichi caught him explaining it to Yamaguchi. That’s how he found out. He was super nice about it! He said I could use the locker room and he would keep watch so I was comfortable.” He was walking cheerfully, almost jumping with each step. “ mmmm, I think Suga maybe knows too, I told Daichi he could tell the other 3rd years, I don’t really mind. They’re super nice and they’re my friends. “he was now just straight out replaced every step for a leap, and swinged his arms to match, in the middle of the street.

A lonesome ray of sunshine got in between some trees and lit Hinata’s head for a moment and Kageyama´s heart was pounding again. All the commotion about the _secret thing_ had made him forget about this _other thing_.

Then, an intrusive thought brought back what Tsukishima had said the day before. And all the jokes he had heard him make about the two of them. Like how he would shout “just get a room” each time they fought. He also remembered he once heard Yamaguchi scolding him saying “Tsuki, let them be, you have to let them figure it out on their own.” Which had made no sense to him at the time but now he thought he realised what Yamaguchi meant.

He stopped walking suddenly and It took a minute for Hinata to realise. When he did, he walk back towards him and asked while leaning in:

“Kageyama? Do you need to go to the bathroom or something? You’re making a weird face…”

“I wasn’t looking at you because of the scars”

“huh? What do you mean?”

“At first I thought I was. But yesterday it wasn’t because of that.” Hinata seemed really confused.

“Then why was it?”

“I don’t know?”

“Huh?? You stopped walking to tell me that you don’t know why you were looking?” Kageyama didn’t know how to answer one more time. Hinata sighed. “aaah, Kageyama, you don’t have to worry if you were looking at me because of th- “

“I wasn’t! I think… it’s like Stupidshima said.” 

“eh? When he called you king?? Or when he called me chibi-chan???” Hinata was frowning now, looking angry.

“Yes!” was Kageyama’s sad attempt to make himself understood.

“You’re not gonna start with that whole I can fight my own battles stupid thing again right? Because you admitted I’m your friend and friends get to defend-“

“No! Not that part!” Kageyama was getting desperate at his inability to explain himself properly. “The other part… when he said… when he said I couldn’t get enough of your face” Hinata still looked confused. Kageyama swallowed before adding “your cute face”. And there It was, that heat _he now understood_ was a blush. He looked away but Hinata just planted his face a few inches in front of his. Kageyama took a step back, startled.

“Are you trying to make fun of me? You’re really bad at it, Stupidshima does it a lot better!” Now Kageyama was getting angry. He grabbed Hinata by the shoulders and shouted to his face:

“That’s not it you boke!!!” he was shaking him and Hinata was getting angry too.

“Then what do you mean??? You’re speaking nonsense!!” And when he started flapping his legs in the air Kageyama realised he had picked Hinata up from the floor from his shoulders. While putting him down he yelled back:

“Ahhhhh I was looking at you because I like you, you boke… boke!” and Hinata reached the ground and went stiff and started blushing intensely while Kageyama looked to the floor thinking _fuck_.

“You like me or you like like me?” Kageyama answered without looking back up.

“Both?”

“Is this a joke?” Stupid Hinata.

“No.”

“Why do you like me?” what??

“I don’t know”

“is it because of what I told you yesterday?” he added with a softer voice, to which Kageyama finally looked up, surprise written in his face.

“What? Why? No… it’s from before. I don’t really care about… that” Hinata’s expression was indecipherable. Somewhere between cautious, surprised and amused.

“I didn’t know you were gay.”

“Oh. I know since I was 5”

“Really?? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“it just never came up.” Kageyama answered while shrugging. It was true, it wasn’t that he hid it. He didn’t announce it either. He had other priorities anyway.

“Huh?? Hmmmm. You really do only think about volleyball, don’t you?” Kageyama thought about it.

“I don’t know, lately I also think about you” he said after some deliberation, and Hinata’s face lit up like a match before he said all in a rush.

“Let’s get home it’s getting dark.” And he started walking like one od those nutcracker toys.

Kageyama couldn’t believe he had gotten off the hook so easily. Maybe Hinata was going to pretend he hadn’t heard the confession and they could get back to norm-

“So since when do you like me? What type of guys do you like? Wait, am I you type??”

Or maybe not.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hinata didn’t say anything that could be considered as an answer that day. Nor the next. But he did hug Kageyama goodbye and then run away at the intersection where they parted ways, leaving the boy with his heart wanting to leave his chest. And the next day he grabbed his hand out of the blue, which made Kageyama forget how to walk. And the next time they got into a fight while alone, Hinata shouted “shut up” and proceeded to shut him up with a kiss. It worked. Kageyama couldn’t speak a word for the next 30 minutes.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh, I don't know why I felt the need to write this, but I did! It's not particularly my head canon but I do think it could go kinda like this wright? Anyways, hope you liked it!  
> If you enjoyed it and would like to leave kudos and a kind comment I would really appreciate it!
> 
> (Also, I kinda characterized Kageyama like Syaoran from Sakura Card Captor because he's got the emotional intelligence of an 11 years old tsundere)


End file.
